Thanks Cyrus,
No, for some reason the editor double-spaced the file when I pasted. Other than that, it's the same though.
Yes, I actually tried ordering the exclusions both ways. Neither works.
The robots.txt checkers report no errors. I had actually checked them before posting.
Before I posted this, I was pretty convinced the problem wasn't in our robots.txt but the Seomoz support staff says essentially, "We don't think the problem is with Rogerbot, so it must be in your robots.txt file, but we can't look at that, so if by some chance your robots.txt file is fine, then there's nothing we can do for you because we're just going to assume the problem is on your side."
I figured, with everything I've already tried, and if the fabulous SEOMoz community can't come up with a solution, that'll be the best I can do.